I was forty. Forty years is more than enough time to figure out yourself and your world, I thought I had; but I really hadn’t…and then Thaniel came.

Thane is my ninth child. That’s more than enough kids to figure out what kind of parent you are, and I thought I had; but I hadn’t. The truth of the matter is, each child has profoundly changed me.

But none so much as Thaniel.

Thaniel has Down syndrome, and for the weeks that I knew for sure (two) before he was born, Down syndrome had me. I cried, then researched everything I could and then put on a (false) brave face and got ready to meet him.

Since that day little more than a year ago I have been transformed, have been up-cycled, have been sent on a journey without an itinerary. And all I can say about the journey so far is.

Thank you.

Thank you God and Thaniel for showing up. These pages are my thoughts on the whole awesome sauce thing.