Isolated but not alone.

Hi.
Remember me?
I once wrote a blog all about how God shows me His ability to awesome sauce through my son who just happens to have a little something extra. 😉 He did so I did.

And then I stopped writing altogether.

Why?  ( as if you asked )

Well let me tell you-  it wasn’t for lack of nonsense to fill you in on.  Rather- it was the kind of stuff for which you have no words, and no earthly idea what is the actual what now!
“ Oh come on!” Type stuff- until I literally couldn’t even.

So here we are , you and I – practicality strangers again. Feels like I’m on a first date and I need to start with the basics.  My favourite colour is yellow if anyone wants to know and I like long walks on the beach- but who doesn’t?

Discovery

I discovered the meaning of chemical depression this past year- what a ride that is!  Without trying to sound glib, there is NOT enough Information out there to make those who’ve never experienced depression before understand.  It’s not simply feeling down for a while or being in a slump.  It is a knock down drag out 12th round battle-  and that’s just to get out of bed!
So I learned the ins and outs of that ( as an aside …I wonder if ‘ ins and outs’ there means the same as it does in a hospital? Eww)  I’ve been in a war of the Roses situation with hyperthyroidism, Graves’ disease, Pulmonary Hypertension with a side order of Heart failure just on the right please- hold the onions- all fighting to see which one will kill me first ( My money is still on a clown off’ing me in a parking lot with a stale baguette but I digress)   I am in the home stretch now for really reals with surgery to remove the offending organ looming and the crossed fingers hope that when that happens my ticker will stop holding oxygen for ransom. The meds I am on now have my skin crawling, my joints screaming and my head pounding-  so go easy on my grammar and spelling today! 🤪

So how do you raise a child who just happens to have a diverse set of needs when you don’t have the energy or will to bathe let alone chase and redirect and above all love a little guy like mine?   Well I can tell you emphatically what you don’t do- and that’s sit in a comfortable recliner.  You aren’t coming back from that if you do.

So basically the last year and a bit has been spent getting healthier- getting my head turned back around right and getting our family set up for the best outcomes.  That included downsizing to a little apartment that removed a huge portion of stress from me.  It included making space for bad days and not getting worked up over them, and it included shutting out some of the world.  Doesn’t that sound idyllic?  ( I hope those of you playing along at home will sense my sarcasm)   You know what’s even better than a little isolation?  If more is better- than a little away time isn’t as good as 


           !!COMPLETE ISOLATION!!

I won’t go long into what has affected the whole wide world and all the countries including the ones you didn’t even know existed- won’t rehash what is being said in the news hourly.  What I will say about this COVID-19 crisis is this… You haven’t lived until you’ve been locked inside a house for three weeks with Thaniel!

What began as a nice little extended vacation has turned into a pandemic of epic proportions and the subsequent cabin fever of several countries, cities and my children. We are self isolating and sheltering in and staying away from everyone while we wash our hands and debate the effectiveness of masks. The whole of the world focused on one united goal ( since the dawn of creation I think ) and that is to get rid of this virus. Meanwhile at home my goal is to keep the boys learning while I keep Thaniel from glueing the dog to the floor.

I have to be honest- I’m a little underwhelmed by Covid. Which is horrible to say, because the world is suffering.  The world is in crisis, and I’m over here with a feeling of  ‘ahhh together at last’  –  I’ve got a Psychiatrist friend who reads these who is likely analyzing as we speak.  Here is how I come by that feeling- and maybe when I’m done- you’ll feel as if we are together in this too.  Isolated but not alone.

Ecclesiastes 4:12  says —“ A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken. “

Coming from someone who has had it handed to her in the health crisis department on more than enough fronts- I totally get this.  But I’m not going to use myself as an example- I’m going to use my awesome filled little boy and the team that saved his life first.

I’ve written before about how close we came to losing him- his little body full of infection, exhausted, and for some still unknown reason he’d stop breathing after struggling for a time. Almost as if he was too tired to take another breath.  We had been on several floors of the same hospital each visit , one time staying on the surgical floor and dealing with that issue- only to be back and admitted short weeks later with something else on the everyone here has a bad infection floor-  all these pieces of the puzzle but in different charts on different floors in the hands of different doctors.  Until we were sent to the Down Syndrome Clinic where it’s a round table type situation- Doctors consulting with one another and keeping each other up to date.  In short-  those doctors stood back to back and took on the enemy together. And conquered. Thaniel hasn’t spent a night in hospital since.

We are absolutely seeing that in our world today. Nations are sharing what they are learning about this virus with each other- Countries loaning medical supplies, and expertise and it’s unprecedented- it’s never happened quite like this before.  Sure this is an insidious enemy, but we are back to back fighting.

And if I drag the focus back to our smaller communities- that braided cord is happening there too!  In the little town where I did most of my growing up, one woman started a landslide of CARE MONGERING!  I mean wow!  One woman saw the need and she answered by calling others together to help-  and she’s changing the landscape of the town – Where once all the posts I’d see from my town were filled with fear and uncertainty- soon there was a flood of offers of help and volunteering and pulling together. Of standing back to back in order to be stronger. That doesn’t happen everyday, and I’m thinking it’s showing a lot of people that they don’t have to be Marvel heroes or Presidents   Or Ministers to make a difference, they just have to care.  I don’t know that woman personally, and don’t know a lot of the people she has inspired to action- and I don’t know what if any faith they have-  but they are examples of scripture, proof of scripture everyday

Hebrews 10:24-25  “And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together ( but not in person right now 😜) as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another … “. Philippians 2:3-4 “Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.”

We can’t possibly feel isolated when togetherness is all around.

My final word on this comes from my own heart this morning-  I don’t feel alone so much right now.  I’ve been a snow leopard ( Neutropenia ribbon ) for a lot of years now- more than half of my life, and it can be lonely.  When I’m admitted to the hospital, I’m put right into isolation.  When My numbers are down, I have to stay away from everyone. I’ve lived a long time feeling apart.  For the first time since I can remember- the whole world looks like me- gloves on, masks on, wiping down door handles and 20 feet from the next nearest person.  I’m not happy about it-  but I do feel less alone. Less different.

That makes me think of Thane, of how he stands out in his classroom, of how one day he may notice he’s a snow leopard among the lions. It makes me want to make the whole world look like him for a small moment so he can feel what I’ve been feeling lately…  So here’s my thought.

Could you, wherever you are in your sheltered in spot- or your isolated place, your alone-ness-  reach out to someone else today?  *-Not physically because we don’t want to hurt anyone-* Someone different than you.  Someone who typically stands alone.  Someone you don’t know.  Someone who is feeling isolated too- and can you say or do something that draws them into the collective ‘we’ today?   Just for today, put down your fear and your unknown and your concerns for what this will be tomorrow or in the next weeks- and count another more significant than yourself today.  Pass that package of toilet paper to the next guy!

In this way, may we stand back to back together- in this way may we fight the feelings of isolation and be ONE like never before.

 

Dear Y’eshua,

You stood out too. You felt alone in who you were and what you had come to do and we despised you for it.  We left you to pray alone in the garden, we fell asleep when we should have stayed in the fight with you- we considered you stricken by God and we didn’t recognize your unique glory, and the love you must have had for us to become LIKE us,  but you did become like us in order to show us how to love.  Remind us of your type of life giving love right now.   People are hurting today Y’eshua , they are sick and afraid and alone. Their loved ones are in nursing homes alone, their daughters and sons are on the front lines facing an unseen enemy and they are afraid, we are all in our separate places and we need you. Please come today by the work of your Holy Spirit and stand at the backs of our doctors and nurses and paramedics- stand at the backs of those afraid, of those alone, of those who are mourning, of those who are making decisions for nations and at the backs of those who are making a difference.  When you are with us, in the midst of us- we are never ever alone.  Please bless your people. Multiply your provisions and bring us back to you. I love you Jesus.  You are my everything.
amen.

 

 

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